June 20th, 2012
one of the tricks to creating and enjoying more happiness is : don’t take anything personally. when you don’t take what others say or do (in regards to you) personally, then the angst, frustration, disappointment and anger has nowhere to take root. we all have people that are not our biggest fans, many can be as close as your immediate family or next door neighbor or cubicle work partner. no matter what nastiness they spew your way, it has everything to do with them and nothing to do with you.
everyone has their own unique set of issues and perceptions and those color their words and judgements, and not always for the pretty. if you can move from taking what they say and think personally to letting it be their thoughts alone, you win. very few people go through life without being left off a christmas list or two…. so, if you’re part of that majority, as i am too, not taking stuff personally can be one of the most freeing and happiness inducing things you do. of the people who aren’t sending me love and light everyday.. i don’t ever think of them. i don’t care what they think, i don’t lose sleep over them, i don’t get upset about what they say or do, it all means nothing to me.
people have perceptions fueled by their judgements and history and habits and if you can be ok with that, put stock only in what you think, what you believe, then you are free to be as happy as you want to be. don’t let what others think be the deciding factor on how you feel. at the end of the day the most important thing you can do is try to be the best you can be, and if you do that day in and day out you can go to sleep free and not caught up in he said, she said. don’t get your feathers all puffed up, when you can just as easily let it not matter.
Filed Under: porchtalk
Tagged: denver colorado blog, happiness, keys to happiness, porchtalk
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August 31st, 2011
do you worry if you’re making someone else happy? when you start to do or say something is your first thought, will this be ok with them/her/him? will my doing this make my husband or wife or boss happy? too often our actions are predicated by whether it will jive with someone else with no thought to whether it works for us or not.
being aware of your surroundings, your peers, your co-workers, family members, is always good. it’s good to keep others in mind, not be totally self driven. but not at the expense of checking in with you first. if what you do most often is only done to keep the peace or to hopefully make the other person happy or gain their approval, it’s going downhill already. when you sacrifice checking in with what you want, what makes you satisfied, what fills you up, to try and be what everyone else needs you to be.. you’ve lost.
do you never say no because you don’t want anyone to not like you? Do you make 3 different dinners at night to accommodate your family and their different wants even though it’s exhausting and takes 3 times as long? do you avoid speaking up when your best friend never returns phone calls, shows up late, and always makes excuses.. so as not to rock the boat or seem unable to go with the flow?
if you make decisions based on what you need, what makes you happy, you’ll find that everything else falls into place. if you are happy, it is a guarantee that those around you will benefit ten fold. Happy spreads. it’s ok to not do what everyone else wants you to. it’s ok if people don’t agree. it’s ok if people get miffed because you say no. they are looking out for what they want, first and foremost. they want you to go somewhere. they want you to do something. they want you to cook for them, see the pattern? a little bit of i want and need can go a long way to you being more available. when you are coming from a place of pure desire, desire to do something based on want and not have to, life is sweeter.
sometimes we compromise. you go to the movie the husband wants to see that you’d rather not, or you take the kiddos to the mall when you’d rather take a nap. this is love. this is not being a doormat or worse, a martyr. be confident to check in with yourself first, see what you want, reach towards what makes you happy, and let the chips fall where they may. you’ll never be truly happy only doing things you think will make someone else happy. because no one can make someone else anything.
Filed Under: porchtalk
Tagged: happiness, happy
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