expectations. it starts out so innocently. we give a gift, we expect a thank-you. we call a friend and leave a message, we expect a call in return. we get excited over really good news, we expect excitement to be bounced back at us when we share the news. simple, right? if only.
have you ever called to tell a friend something you were excited about and instead of a big woohoo! you got a deflated balloon? or said to someone that you’re going to new york for the first time and instead of asking what you’re going to do they say, new york sucks, it’s cold, people are rude, yada yada. phooey. or you just got a new to you car and drive up ready to show it off and the first thing you hear is, i heard those were horrible on gas. double phooey.
it all comes back to expectations. if you don’t have expectations of a predetermined outcome, you’re way ahead of the game. this is not to say that you have to be happy with the responses you get (or lack thereof) rather, use the lack of or less than desirable responses to teach you to not rely on external sources for your happiness. the more you come from a place of internal happiness the less others feedback will affect you. and, you can see more clearly whether the people you’re spending time with are worth it or not.
just as you watch what you eat, you must watch who you spend your time with. without conscious effort of what we are filling our time with, surrounded by, and taking in, we easily fall prey to others whims, moods, and grievances. when you focus on your center first, your good place, you start to create a shield that prevents the behaviors and reactions of others from upsetting your place of happy. then, from that place, you might realize that you have people in your life who don’t celebrate your successes, don’t call back, don’t….. and make a decision to step out a little, make new friends, surround yourself with people more compatible to who you are and want to be.
no matter what, expectations are premeditated resentment. they are a set-up for failure for both parties. while the people in your life may truly need to be weeded a bit, it is first and foremost our jobs to be the best we can be, and that includes being able to move forward sans strings attached.