porch talk
6
»»»» gossip ««««
flibbertigibbets. one of the best books i have read is A Complaint Free World. in the book, it challenges you to go 21 days with the trifecta. the trifecta is: NO gossip, NO complaining, NO criticizing. some people are horrible at all three, others just dabble in one or two and go rampant in the third.
you must be completely honest with yourself for it to work. do you speak negatively, consistently? the weather is awful, i don’t like this or that, i don’t like xyz…. is this you? or do you criticize easily… don’t do it that way, he never does it right, why don’t you try harder, and on and on. and gossip. phew. this one gets pretty much everyone.
here is the book definition of gossip: any time you are speaking of someone who is not with you and what you are saying must be something that if you said it to their face it would make them happy. uh oh. make them happy? yup. so if what you say would not make them happy if they heard it, it’s gossip. this is a powerful exercise. it can really change your life. find out what your weakness is.
go 21 days, it may take a while, the average is almost a year to successfully complete it. that really makes you realize how much negative output comes spilling from our mouths. if we all want happy, fulfilling lives it makes perfect sense that this must start with what we are sharing with the world… one comment at a time. and last I checked, no one likes criticism, complainers or gossips (well, most of the time).
the book gives more explanation of how and when to voice a real, credible concern. this is not about being a doormat. there is however a big difference in how we say something, i.e. critical and blaming, versus calm and straightforward (without the nasty emotions).
something to think about…..(and the holidays are a perfect place to start!) et me know if you try it! I would love to hear about your experience….
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Filed Under: porchtalk
Tagged: 21 days, a complaint free world, complaining, criticizing, flibbertigibbets, gossip
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OH yea, posted on my fb profile! I tried once before, and here I go again:)
This is fascinating to me. I would like to try this. I wonder frequently how to react to those who are gossiping to me about others. I must read this book! Thanks for the suggestion!
you will love this book then.. i took one of the books suggestions and either just started telling everyone i am doing a 21 day thing or if i haven’t told them and they are gossiping, when it would come my time to add my 2 cents worth i say i just started this thing….. works great because then all the conversation is about that! and if all else fails i turn the conversation around to how are you dealing with xyz.. so that i can talk to them about whatever is bothering them but only in relation to their part in the story. let me know how it goes for you!
Nice! How has it been working out for you?
ayo.. overall good. sometimes there are stretches where everything goes awry ): but, what i’ve learned over all this time is that it is now always in my mind, the lesson, and even when i am making the comment that goes against, i am now aware and that changes everything. it will be a forever practice!